“Think before you Thank”

Selfless or selfish

“Next time you thank me”, he requested,

“Ask yourself, if

I am acknowledging,
Because, showing gratitude
Is a universally-regarded virtue?
Because being virtuous
Is self-uplifting,
Socially and morally rewarding?

So, in reality,
Am I recognizing
Or, the other?”

“Ask yourself, if

I am obliging,
Because, not reciprocating
Makes me believe
I am not conforming
To a social etiquette?
Because, not regarding favourably
May invoke reprehension?
And, both, I can’t take.
Because, both leave me
In bad light,
So, I oblige?

So, in reality,
Am I worried about
Or, even narrowly concerned about
The other?”

“What is the point of thanking then?”

“What and who are you thanking for?”

“Thanking is self-less, and, is when,
I experience a beautiful feeling
Generated by a co-being,
Through some doing,
Or non-doing,
Or by just being.
And, my heart out of
A genuine desire
To share with the other,
This moment of joy,
Showers gratitude.”

“Rest is a show,
A calculation,
That not only you know,
But, the other understands too.”

10 thoughts on ““Think before you Thank”

  1. I do appreciate the point you make. so often the Thank Yous come out of habit or a sense of obligation, rather than a true desire to express how much you value what someone said or did. Is it because we are taught in our cold society not to show or share emotions? Is this why the Thank You has become somehow heartless? You’ve made me think! lol Thank You…no no, I mean it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think I am sure that you mean it Morgan. :). I really can’t trace where has our society gone wrong with expressing emotions genuinely. What caused this internalization and what demands us to continue the unfeeling thanking act.

      When I ask myself that question I realize that there is internalization of the act of thanking as a virtue without really caring to understand the intrinsic feeling behind it. There was a moral science class, way back in school that may have taught me so, or, my family values may be asking me to do so. I also see, that there is self-gratification that perpetuates the habit of thanking without understanding. The appreciation of people when you acknowledge.

      Today, I realize that when one doesn’t genuinely feel like thanking, one must refrain. I know, it is hard to do, but, then that is the only way by which truth can prevail, and, one’s response may be more trustworthy.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A very thought provoking poem! In fact I was wondering why I thanked you in the last piece – ‘it was because it evoked a beautiful feeling’. I have issues with not only ‘thank yous’ out of habit but more so when people dont acknowledge another out of personal petty considerations such as jealousy or giving the other a share of the (albeit deserved) limelight. An excellent and relevant write!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The purpose was exactly that, to provoke a thought, a questioning thought, and, it is nice to know that the poem did that to you. Brave of you to express the truth. I also thank people, unconsciously, from my past habit, but being more aware has helped me be more genuine with my thoughts and feelings or my expression.

      To me, it matters lesser than before, if the other person has to act out of prejudices or petty considerations, because, you really can’t control his/her reactions. All you can do is question yourself, if you are doing something similar, even though it may not be the same thing. I have realized that there are quite a few people out there who may not want to acknowledge, but, isn’t that good that they are at least not being hypocrites by being two-faced. Another question that I often ask is how much would another’s acknowledgement make or break my life? If I am giving the power away to the people outside, then, I would not be able to live my life the way I want to. Everyone around has an open licence to toy around with me then. The world is a tough place if you are dependent too much on it. Necessary dependence is justified, however. Thanks for you honest response.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well said but mostly applicable in the arts where one writes and draws for ones own pleasures and compulsions. But when it happens in ones career it can be very frustrating as it blocks ones growth and future prospects.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I think you mean to say that one needs courage to walk the talk. I totally agree with you. Yes, it is easy to write and difficult to follow because you may have to pay a price when you follow certain path. Now, this is where it comes down to each person, how willing the person is to pay a price and how much. And, I believe, one rather not write or say for the sake of writing or saying.

        Liked by 1 person

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